Success

I just figured out how to be successful! By “liking and sharing” posts on fb; watching endless hours of Netflix, cable; going to the movies, comparing myself to others; having the right faith,  voting the same way as my peers or being into enough major sports; gossiping just enough to fit in, not working too hard, but just enough to stay with the herd! And if I do this enough over a 20 to 30 year period or longer if need be I’ll be aloud into the “club” and I’ll feel the same as all the rest of civilized society of which I’ve yearned a whole life time over!
Even so I’ve done some of these things really well! Like the “posting, liking and sharing” tons of movies and I do mean “tons!” I’ve tried the right western religion in “Jesus Name,” I’ve gossiped about those that think differently, I’ve tried to get into sports in times past so I could have a reason to be around others with something that excites them! And still after all this, I still feel on the outside looking in! And now I see, this is where I am to stand! And this my only success, not conforming well! Though I give it the good old American try… Watching yet another movie, posting yet another cool spiritual thought provoking video, doing no actual work to push ahead, but rather dreaming bigger than most, which keeps me comparing my dream to the nightmares I see others living. Which makes me better, right? If I won the lottery, you’d all see how cool my dreams really are and then, I would have arrived! But until that day, all I have is a bunch of words floating on visions of a better tomorrow, but no cash for the day to get there!!!

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The Lazy writer

  • Most of my life I have sensed that I am called to write! The best times of writing I’ve ever had was when I lived either on the road hitch hiking or living on the streets.
    Now I have had some good stuff come to me when I was stationary, but the ground breaking, floor shaking, earth erupting, catastrophic Shit seems to come most when my life is falling apart!!!
    I am 38 and the years have passed by with a feeling of failure for having not gone after my dreams full bore… You know like, how you hear about someone that starts from nothing and fights for their dreams and “they” make a movie about them! Well, that’s not my story.
    I’m the Story of the great starter and the never finisher! I’ve had over a hundred killer ideas that, if in the hands of one of those great “finishers,” we’d all be rich or at least all my friends and I would be.
    One of my favorite things through out my life is story telling! But not stories that are made up, but rather my psychedelic experiences as verbatim as possible! And or I love sharing my dreams too! Like what I’d do if money was no object! Or my actual sleeping dreams which have been pretty kick ass over the years…
    But when it comes to doing regular life, holding down a job, working well with others, having money or keeping it rather I do horribly!

How can I break loose from this Shit?

And be who I see in my visions, finally standing apart from my prison of lies that hold me behind invisible walls: Made by the same builders as “The emperor’s new clothes.”

Which, as we know, do not exist!